Next Stop: Destination Unknown

       Spring break is over. I went on choir tour and it was crazy...fun at times but definitely crazy. Every night we stayed with a different host family as we traveled to Arkansas, Lousiana, Texas, Oklahoma, and Kansas in a week. We had a free day in Dallas, Texas and the highlight of that day was chilling and then going to see "In the Heights" a musical show.

       Now, finally having time to reflect and think about this past week and events tied into the trip and stuff going on in general I am once again thankful that I serve a God that knows the way the world works, because once again I find it super crazy. The world has so many surprises in life...and most are often what we least want or expect, but the important aspect is to remember to trust God even when we don't understand or feel overwhelmed. God has definitely been taking me on a journey this semester. And a common theme with my life is patience and trust it seems, lol. So...with all this traveling that's been happening lately, I don't know where God is going to take me next. He is teaching me and refining me, and I do trust Him with my life, even though I haven't a clue what next puzzle piece He's going to put on the table. It's exciting!!
So...if I were to pick up a GPS and type in my destination it would read something like this: "Next Stop: Destination Unknown." But...God knows and his way is totally better than mine. So you see...patience...:)

"Exquisite blossoms and intoxicating fragrance"

     My gardenia bloomed!!!! The title of this blog is from the tag of the plant...it made me chuckle. :) Now...this isn't my actual picture but the blossom is the exact same. :) I've never seen this kind of blossom before and apparently it is a Kleim's Hardy Gardenia. It smells AMAZING!!!!! Being my favorite flower, it is a wonderful reminder and I really love it!

Most beautiful flowers of God's creation in my opinion. :D

Reliance

  Today is "Preaching and Teaching Convention" at school...affectionately known as "P&T". Workshops and seminars but no classes!! Nice break for two days. :) Since I don't have to work until 2:30, I decided to work on some school projects. One of them being for Psalms class with Mark Moore. We have an "Artistic Project" to turn in; ranging from writing, to music, to art, to pretty much anything he approves! So...I have decided to write an original psalm. According to "guidelines" for the project, it has to be of the same style/genre as the writers in Scripture. So I have entitled the psalm, "Reliance"...

Reliance

How long will I be kept waiting?

How long will my prayers go upwards

with no response?

I have waited for you and called out for You,

            But still You are silent.

I am alone, O God!

I need Your help for I cannot do this on my own.

My struggles are choking me,

            It is as if my throat has hands about it;

My hands are tied tight behind my back.

How did it come to this, Lord?

I have watched with heart and mind heavy

            As the ground is completely shaken beneath me.

Darkness threatens to close in even as I fight to stay

            In the Light.

Lord, I have looked to You,

            Yet so many times I have turned away once again.

I have learned in recent years that even through

            The confusion and misunderstandings;

You are still there for me.

My soul has cried out and finally,

            I have found rest.

Keep me at peace and strong, and let not storm clouds nor raging waves

            Overwhelm and waver my trust in You.

Seasons may change, winter to spring;

            But God, never do you change!

You are my lifeline, O LORD!

You alone are my source of hope!

When I look to You, I know You are there waiting.

My thoughts are set on You

            And my heart longs to be with You.

Even in this wilderness, Lord,

            You have given me an oasis!

My heart and lips sing praises to You,

            My Lord;

You are my strength and in you,

            Yes, in You O Lord, I find peace and satisfaction!

"Where Can I Go from Your Presence"

So...here I am at 2:49am and I just finished composing a hymn for my Music in Worship Literature class. We had to write at least three stanzas of our own composition to music already written. Mine is written to "What A Friend We have in Jesus" by Joseph Scriven, 1855.  :) The class is great and I have enjoyed the content very much. As my first test in it is on Wednesday, I may not love it so much the following day! ;) We shall see. In the meantime...here is my hymn...

"Where Can I Go from Your Presence"

Where can I go from your presence,

Heavens, seas or farthest lands?

Everywhere I hide you find me,

Even though I try my best.

If I say the darkness hide me,

Darkness tis not dark to Thee!

Though I’ve tried my best and hardest,

Still you find and watch o’er me.

I have faltered in my walk, Lord

Tested, tempted all the way

Now I see my sins and problems

How can I return to Thee?

Have you counted sins against me?

Wash my heart and make it clean.

Open up my eyes to see, Lord,

All that you have planned for me.

Lord, to thee I am returning,

From this world of toils and snares.

Fix’d my gaze on Thee most surely,

Humbled by the load I bear.

Grace? What is this gift you’ve given?

Grace to cover all my sins!

Ever still my constant Savior

Keep me, Lord within your hand!

Yahweh, Lord and great Redeemer,

In you I have found my rest!

You are my only Sustainer,

Never from you shall I turn.

When the wind blows, waves crash over

Sun shines down, and flowers bloom,

Never shall I be forsaken

Closer to Thee shall I cling!

TWINS!!!!

So...I got to witness today an awesome spectacle that I'd never seen before. A girl I know is having twins and I was present for her ultrasound. I have never seen twins in an ultrasound before and it was probably the most amazing picture I've ever gotten to see. Then, as the resolution cleared, I could see a flicker on one side of the womb and another flicker at the top of the womb. These were the heart beats of identical twins!!! Sure, I've seen heart beats of babies before, but never twins. :)
So...anyways...that was just something really special that I got to see today and I am amazed. God's handiwork of the human body is amazing!!!

"Still learning stuff that Exciting?"

 I am  in Psalms this semester and am learning so much! haha...I was talking to two freshmen friends while working and said the following, "My mind is being blown this semester. In...really good ways. I am in Psalms and Hebrews, and it's really fascinating. Really challenging me with what I think and how I've always viewed certain aspects of Scripture". They responded with wide eyes and one sputtered "And what year are you?" I smiled, "a junior." He grinned, "And...so you're classes are harder than your freshman year? Like...you're still learning stuff that exciting?" I laughed and they both joined in and we continued discussing the elements of learning and expanding learning.

 "...still learning stuff that exciting". Hmm...I would have to say yes. Followed with I never tire of learning, I tire of homework. :) But...without the homework there is no immediate application to what you learn. I love learning and hope I continue to love it and learn from those that teach me and eventually that I teach. It's a really cool thought that I'm not sure what to do with completely yet. I look forward to wanting to graduate, but I am continually learning that it is okay to just speculate and ponder and meditate and examine differing thoughts and processes.

Anyways, enough of my ramblings about loving education!!!

Let the homework begin!!!

"16 books..again?! You've got to be kidding me!" I felt like smacking my forehead as I looked at my roommate in class Thursday night. I laughed as she joined in, "I thought I was through with that! Oh well...lots of knowledge to be gained I guess!" Yes indeed, my semester has begun again and right now, I don't really care how many books I have. SUCH a weird feeling! lol.

This semester is off to a wonderful, wonderful start. My RA has a deep passion for Gay Ministry and Sunday night we went to "birthday dinner" and I listened to her share her heart for these people and how God is opening doors in her life for over an hour. I treasure moments people open up and share their passions, dreams, faults, weaknesses, and struggles; when all this is centered around discovering where God wants someone and where He is calling them, I feel like I've been given an insight into God's heart. God has established wonderful and incredible plans in us. Sometimes...those plans come with hardship and pain. Sometimes it's a clear shot to the target where He wants you. And sometimes those plans are like puzzles; we have the whole outline and some of the pieces, but we're not really sure where the other puzzle pieces go. God can use and will use us if we are willing to be shaped, molded, spun about and used. 

Later this week as I went to my classes I grew increasingly excited and increasingly...worried about my homework load. But I am so excited about the homework and classes. All the classes flow so good together. I am back in some music classes, which is so great and enriching. I learned some interesting stuff about hymns that is fascinating. According to the rhythmic meter, certain hymns can be sung to another musical tune. Example, in 8.6.8.6 meter, Joy to the World can be sung to Amazing Grace and vice versa. Cool!!! Three of my classes have a "Creative project" in which I will probably do some expressionist painting/music for and so I am excited about that. And I am in two women only classes! One is Ministering to Women in Crisis and the other is Women in Missions. They are great! So refreshing to get together with several women and study God's heart and direction for women in the past, present and ourselves. The Crisis class is fantastic for what I'm pursuing in life. God has been developing in me a love and passion for women, especially in crisis and I think this class is going to amplify that and equip me so much more. 


But...enough of this! haha...why do I love school so much?! I am excited to see what God has in store for myself and my friends this semester and my prayer is still that He breaks my heart for what breaks His, teach me patience, and to love people like He does.